


Afternoon Tea

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Child Neglect, Humour, Hurt/Comfort, Isolation, Other, The Gratuitous Discussion Of Atticus Finch as just like a character?, To Kill a Mockingbird References, Trans Dirk Strider, again dont worry this is a happy fic i just discuss trauma this one, discussion of abuse, discussion of trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:35:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22838701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ROSE: But back to Atticus Finch, I would like to be a lesbian version of him when I grow older.DIRK: By all means Rose, you already are.ROSE: Thank you, that’s a very high compliment. Hopefully Kanaya doesn't die, though.It would be unfortunate.DIRK: It would.
Relationships: Rose Lalonde & Dirk Strider, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam/Jade Harley
Comments: 3
Kudos: 46





	Afternoon Tea

**Author's Note:**

> hm. gay people should read to kill a mockingbird. its good.

**ROSE: You know, you remind me of Dave sometimes.**

She brought you here for afternoon tea in the garden. 

**DIRK: Not this again.**

**ROSE: No, listen to me this time Father.**

**DIRK: Especially not that.**

**ROSE: You remind me of Dave, regardless of your inferiority complex. You know as much as you admire him he's not bulletproof.**

**ROSE: He does that because he knows you need him to be.**

**DIRK: I know he does.**

**ROSE: You both have real compassion for other people.**

**ROSE: It's just a matter of showing it. Which, you’re both terrible at. Terrible in a thinly veiled way that allows people to easily see the intentions beneath.**

**ROSE: You’re a good person, Dirk.**

**ROSE: I know you admire me as well. You admire both of us.**

**DIRK: Yeah, didn't realize this was gonna be a deep dive into my own splintered psyche. You should warn a lady.**

**ROSE: I will next time, but you have to promise me to come.**

You sigh.

**DIRK: Yeah, I will.**

**ROSE: Good.**

**DIRK: I don't know why you insist on tellin’ me I’m a good person. Well,**

**DIRK: its more like I don't understand why you say it even when I’m doing fine.**

**DIRK: I'm used to hearin’ it when I do terribly. Have I done something terrible, Rose?**

**ROSE: No. Thats exactly why I tell you you're a good person at the times I do.**

**ROSE: You’ve answered your own question.**

**DIRK: So, it's like you're trying to encourage me to do better even when I’m doing good?**

**ROSE: Life is nothing without encouragement and support.**

**ROSE: I’m not trying to baby you. I want to articulate the fact I’m proud of you.**

**ROSE: This is the best way I know how.**

**DIRK: Thanks, Rose.**

**ROSE: I hope I can be the support you need.**

**DIRK: You need support too, though. I feel like I don't pull my weight around here.**

**ROSE: That's partially true.**

**DIRK: Wow, way to make a lady feel special.**

**ROSE: There isn't anything shameful in needing other people a little more than your peers. You can make it up to me later.**

**DIRK: How?**

**ROSE: I'm going to make you build me a robot cat that can never die.**

**ROSE: Do you know how tedious it is to keep getting cats, Father?**

**ROSE: This is a serious fucking problem of mine.**

**DIRK: You’ve lived here a couple months, Rose.**

**ROSE: Life is nothing if not constantly planning for the future.**

You smile.

**DIRK: So I’ve heard.**

**ROSE: Anyways, enough about that. I didn't just bring you here to be sappy. I'm not heartless.**

**DIRK: We seriously have to discuss your use of “father”, Rose.**

**ROSE: You hate it.**

**DIRK: I do, it makes me feel old. I’m 16. I’ve got my whole life ahead of me and on top of that I should never be a parent.**

**DIRK: I'm not Atticus Finch, Rose. And even his sons call him Atticus.**

**ROSE: Ah, you subscribe to the theory that Scout in the book is transgender.**

**DIRK: Of course I fucking do.**

**DIRK: ‘M only callin’ it a theory because that's the technical term. Scout is by all means trans, name something about his story that would be written differently were he on purpose written to be so.**

**DIRK: Nothing? That's what I thought.**

**ROSE: Oh totally.**

**ROSE: But back to Atticus Finch, I would like to be a lesbian version of him when I grow older.**

**DIRK: By all means Rose, you already are.**

**ROSE: Thank you, that’s a very high compliment. Hopefully Kanaya doesn't die, though.**

**It would be unfortunate.**

**DIRK: It would.**

**ROSE: To be honest I’m actually quite surprised you read To Kill A Mockingbird, but I should know better.**

**DIRK: You should. I caught up on all the good books from old culture.**

**DIRK: All the ones I could tolerate, anyways. To Kill A Mockingbird was my favourite.**

**ROSE: I read it when I was 13, and it was a very formative experience for me.**

**DIRK: No fuckin’ offense Rose, but I can tell.**

**That is the least surprisin’ thing you could ever say to me. Criminally in character, even.**

**ROSE: Well excuse me for being predictable.**

**ROSE: I appreciated the feeling Atticus gave me. The escape.**

**ROSE: He isn't June’s dad, but he is caring in a way I can understand. He’s everything I wish I had.**

**ROSE: I wish to be caring in that way. I want to do better than my Mom did.**

**ROSE: He meant a lot to me, Atticus Finch. Probably the only man who ever did.**

**DIRK: Hey.**

**ROSE: You know what I mean. I realized Mom wasn't normal through reading his interactions with Scout.**

**ROSE: Not that I didn't know it already, I just didn't really know what it looked like. What I was missing.**

**ROSE: I should've put to Kill A Mockingbird into my sprite.**

**ROSE: That timeline’s Rose is doomed, but at least she got to meet Atticus.**

**ROSE: That is worth it. That is so** **_fucking_ ** **worth it.**

**DIRK: ...Wow, shit.**

**DIRK: I don't know how to respond to that. I have a similar experience too. Never realized how truly shitty being alone without parents is until you’ve read about a good one.**

**DIRK: It made me feel lonely. Like I was neglected but nobody was there to neglect me.**

**DIRK: In a way, there was. It traumatized me all the same.**

**DIRK: I think Atticius is the reason I wasn't ashamed of being trans. Or gay.**

**DIRK: He says a lot of things that could've been told to anyone by any reasonable person, but it's his character that makes you believe he's as great as Scout says he is. When you're a kid, and you're facing whatever type of bigotry happens to affect you. It's important to have someone you believe is great sayin’ that shit.**

**DIRK: Who else is goin’ to say it to us if he doesn't?**

Rose is silent and looking off into the flowers surrounding you and her. You think she's ignoring you until you see the heavy breathing and the wetness of her eyes. You realize your voice has been cracking as you speak.

**DIRK: This is a bit depressing.**

**ROSE: I guess it is. Maybe we're depressing.**

**ROSE: I think he's a good father, more importantly he's a good man. I think that matters in being a father as much as being good with kids does.**

**ROSE: I hope none of us ever have children.**

**DIRK: Agreed. I guess I don't need to ask you your favourite character then.**

**ROSE: No you do not.**

**DIRK: Why can't we just talk about a book like normal people?**

**ROSE: We both were neglected as children and Mr. Finch makes us feel things, Dirk.**

**DIRK: Do you have a copy of the book, Rose?**

**ROSE: Yes. I’ve been reading it with Jade and Kanaya. Jade never actually read it as a kid. She didn't have a copy.**

**DIRK: Sad. How's she been reading it?**

**ROSE: I made her cry reading out Atticus’s dialogue. She was an incredibly lonely girl.**

**DIRK: Invite me over sometime, I was gonna ask for the copy but crying with Jade over being the two most lonely people here (which is an achievement because its a competition at this point) sounds more fun.**

**ROSE: I will. Bonding over shared trauma between you and Jade will be an experience I’ll be happy to be the catalyst of.**

**ROSE: Now Dirk, it's not like you to neglect your tea.**

**You take a sip, it's still hot enough to be enjoyable.**

**DIRK: I never really found the words to describe it until now.**

**ROSE: Hm?**

**DIRK: The years of loneliness. What that felt like.**

**DIRK: Neglect without someone there to neglect you is just isolation but that describes how painful it was. Conveys it.**

**DIRK: If I just say isolation it doesn't cut it. I need to describe it more than that or I feel like people don't understand how traumatic it was.**

**DIRK: That's a bit stupid. Everyone here was isolated.**

**ROSE: I understand the need to get it across, sometimes people don't realize things that aren't necessarily abuse can be traumatic. Hence isolation.**

**ROSE: Neglect is just isolation with extra steps, people don't realize what's traumatic is not necessarily the abuse on the caregivers side, but the loneliness that brings.**

**ROSE: If you had no caregiver at all it’d be just as traumatic.**

**DIRK: Especially as young as I was.**

**ROSE: Especially as young as you were.**

She holds your hand from across the table, her affection is subtler, more subdued. It makes you feel light, like everything will be fine as long as Rose is there with you. That light goes from her hands and up your arms and into the deepest darkest corners of your psyche and illuminates them, and maybe they're not so scary anymore.

“-I once asked Atticus if I was a problem, he said _no_. And at most if I was, I’m _a problem he can handle_.” - Scout Finch, _To Kill a Mockingbird_

**Author's Note:**

> OH remember to kudos this if you liked it💕


End file.
